Hey lovelies, welcome back!
Yesterday, Jodie shared what it
was like living in halls and so today I thought I would give my experience of
living in a shared house instead of halls and tell you why I made that decision.
Firstly, some background information – I decided to come to uni
much later than most of my cohort at the ripe old age of 22. Having moved out and
lived independently for a year and a half before making this decision, it wasn’t
going to be a simple choice. I was well aware that this would be the first time
my peers had lived away from home and given the reputation freshers have, and
remembering when my friends went away to uni five years prior, I decided that
going into halls and being surrounded by 18 year olds wanting to party every
night wasn’t for me. I also wanted somewhere long-term and didn’t want to have
to repeat this search a year later, and so I started looking at shared
accommodation instead.
After viewing a few rooms, I
settled on one in a 10-bed house. Now, before moving in I hadn’t met or even
spoken to the other nine tenants, and thankfully they were all in their early
20’s too and in second and third year or doing a masters. Embracing this new living
arrangement, I made every effort to get to know my new housemates in the hopes
of becoming friends.
University started and I threw myself into student life, making
friends on my course, joining a sports club, going out partying and so it
didn’t take long for the house to drift apart. Not in an explosive way but in
a we’ve each got our own lives and our schedules kind of way
and we settled into comfortably living alongside each other.
Eventually tensions started to rise, as they inevitably do in any shared
accommodation, and it became a more ‘say hi in passing’ kind of environment.
This didn’t faze me as I was busy juggling uni, extra curriculars and a job
whilst adapting to my new life at the same time. What I struggled with was the
confinement of just having a room - remember I’d come from my own 1-bed flat…
This took a huge toll on my mental health and I often watched my friends at
home moving forward in their post-uni lives feeling like mine had regressed.
Since I was struggling with pre-existing depression, I felt
trapped between two worlds – not in a position to be settling down, getting
engaged and buying mortgages like my friends at home but too old to be going
out partying every night like most students. Safe to say my first year was a
rollercoaster of emotions!
Thankfully, I moved into a 2-bed flat for my second year and my
mental health improved almost instantly. I re-gained that feeling of
independence and success I’d lost in the first year and, feeling more like
myself again, decided to really immerse myself into the mature-student
lifestyle. I put more effort into socialising and forming stronger friendships
with the girls at Cheerleading which also gave me the opportunity to befriend
the lads on American Football. Securing a stable job helped me feel balanced –
Weekdays I am the care-free student navigating lectures and socials and at
weekends I am the responsible adult working part-time.
However, hindsight is a wonderful
thing and looking back I do wish I’d chosen halls instead. At the time a shared
house seemed like the perfect option, but the reality was much different. Moving
in with complete strangers is always a risky affair, and in this case more so
as we quickly discovered we were all incompatible. Combine this with the fact
that I’d originally planned to live there long term and then two months in was
informed I’d have to move out at the end of the year regardless, I might as
well have chosen halls in the first place…
While everything has settled for me now, I do often wonder
if my experience would have been different if I’d chosen halls instead. Would I
have found it easier adjusting to my new life? Would I have found it easier to
make more friends? Did I miss out on the full university experience? Would my
mental health have plummeted even further than it did? I guess I’ll never know…
Until next time, lovelies!
No comments:
Post a Comment